Trump’s latest tactic is straight out of the Violent Communication Field Guide (find it here). He wants you to think it’s a power move, but I’ll tell you why it’s rooted in weakness.
When someone keeps moving the goalposts, it’s not about high standards. It’s about control.
Shifting the target is how they hold on to power. If you meet the demand and they let that be the end of it, they lose their leverage. So they keep the game going.
That shows up like this:
A boss who keeps changing the metrics so you always feel behind
A pundit who redefines “patriotism” to discredit whoever they want
A politician who says they want peace but keeps adding conditions until peace can’t happen
Every shift creates instability. That instability serves them. And it burns everyone else.
In the 1983 film WarGames, a military supercomputer simulates every possible outcome of a global nuclear conflict. It runs the numbers. Tests the weapons. Plays the game all the way through.
And then it stops.
“A strange game.
The only winning move is not to play.”
That line has stuck around for decades. Because it isn’t just about war. It’s about what happens when the rules aren’t real. When the other side never intended to end the game. When participation itself becomes the trap.
That’s the pattern we saw last week when President Trump was asked about the escalating trade tensions with Vietnam.
After a series of concessions from the Vietnamese government — cutting tariffs, agreeing to buy U.S. defense products, and even approving Elon Musk’s Starlink to operate in their country — Trump responded:
“Tariffs could go up over time.”
This wasn’t just a tough negotiation stance. This came after Vietnam did what was asked. After they moved to address trade imbalances. After they tried to play by the rules.
And the goalposts moved anyway.
This is a textbook case of moving the goalposts — a manipulative communication tactic where the criteria for success keeps changing just as it’s met. It’s used to destabilize. To keep the other party chasing. To ensure they never quite “win.”
You’ll hear some folks cheer this on.
Usually with some version of: “Good! I want a president who overwhelms the world. That’s strength.”
But let’s look closer.
Moving the goalposts isn’t strength. It’s instability.
Here’s what really happens:
Allies stop trusting you. They watch you break your word and start wondering when you’ll break it with them.
Adversaries stop negotiating. Why bother? You’ve shown you won’t honor the deal even when they comply.
You erode domestic trust. The same tactics used on foreign leaders eventually get used on voters, institutions, and anyone who disagrees.
So why would a smart person use this strategy when there are obvious and damaging drawbacks?
Fear and insecurity.
It’s a tactic used by people who don’t think they can come out ahead on an even playing field.
Here’s an honest American fact: Strong leadership isn’t about keeping others off balance.
It’s about creating clear conditions, holding the line, and having the spine to honor your own word.
Because if the only way you can win is by refusing to name the win condition, you’re not leading — you’re rigging the game.
Rigged games don’t last.
Tactical takeaway:
When you’re in conversation with someone who’s moving the goalposts — or defending someone who is — your job isn’t to win. It’s to hold reality steady.
“We agreed earlier on that standard. Has something changed?”
Then stop. Don’t chase. Let the silence do its work.
If they’re defending the goalpost shift, you could try this:
“What would it take for you to consider the demand met?”
“Do you think it’s fair to keep changing the conditions once they’ve been met?”
Ask calmly. Not to trap — to clarify. Make them look at what they’re defending.
Most people who defend goalpost movers aren’t trying to manipulate. They’re trying to stay loyal. In this conversation, your goal isn’t to shake their loyalty (that would trigger their fight or flight response) — instead, it’s to help them see that trust doesn’t mean blindness.
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