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Growing up non-religious in the Bible Belt, I knew not going to church put me at risk of being singled out.
It wasn't anything said by the people I knew. But I'd seen enough fire and brimstone on TV to know I didn't want to take any chances.
And to a young person, sometimes being singled out is the worst thing that can happen.
So I did whatever I could to avoid getting that "outsider" label.
That's how I learned how to adjust to the room.
I didn’t lie or fake belief. I just made sure not to stand out.
So I blended in and stayed agreeable.
At first, that worked. It helped me move through the world without trouble. But as I started traveling abroad and learning more about myself, I realized over time, it stopped being a decision. It became a reflex.
It became too easy to just shrug and go along with whatever the majority wanted.
In critical moments, I hesitated, waiting to take my cue from the crowd.
That's what violent communication does.
It’s about control.
It uses emotional noise to stir fear, not thought. You’re not supposed to understand it. You’re supposed to react.
That’s how the atmosphere changes.
With a sense that some things can’t be said. That honesty comes with a cost. That it’s easier to just keep quiet.
So people start pulling punches — before they even know what they wanted to say.
You don’t need to be censored.
You just need to be trained.
That’s what happened to me.
No one silenced me. I did it myself.
Now I'm working on finding my voice again.
And the way back isn't to get louder. It's to get clarity.
Clarity of purpose is a big part of courage.
“The further a society drifts from the truth, the more it will hate those that speak it.”
— George Orwell
That’s the point.
When truth gets uncomfortable, silence feels like safety.
But it’s not. It’s surrender.
That’s why I'm building the Dirt Road Revolution.
Because I believe there are a lot of people out there like me.
And it's time for us to find our voices.
Take this with you:
If I wasn’t managing anyone’s reaction, what would I actually say?
That’s the place to start.